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A blog concerning (my)life in general, stuff that happens, stuff that will happen, stuff that doesn't happen, and occasionally comparison between what has been and will be or vise-verce' and especially the randomest everyday stuff worthy of bleach you will ever find.(and of course the occasional inspirationally depressing quote):wink::smirk::sunglasses::nerd:
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  • A weird and semi Vivid dream Nov 7, 2016

    A Vivid Dream

    (To Say The Least)

    1. It was a wintery place and it seemed there was some kind of rebellion going on, didn’t know against who, in a mountainy residence I seemed to have been in a tavern maybe? A man had told us to change the rebellion sign to blue, The signs were wooden & had “NO” written on them in big bold red letters. I traveled a bit and I remembered seeing an old guy that I seemed to have known for a while heading towards the big gathering that seemed to be occurring that was the rebellion and I remember painting all the signs I could find to blue instead of red, as soon as I painted the last one on a big brownish building the crowd seemed to cheer and disperse. It seemed that I was in some Medieval/Post-War/Building or Re-building of society era. After that I found myself in a fort at the base of the mountain I spoke of earlier. I spoke to a made and made a bet that I could shoot a glass off of a rock from atop the mountain. So I sat the cup down on the rock (and really it was more of a big boulder) and set off up the mountain, somewhere about halfway I aimed at it with my bow and realized there was going to be something in my way by the time that I got to the top of the mountain and that was also about the time I fell off the ledge I was standing on and found myself landing like a cat on a wooden platform thing, the kind that held up mineshafts and stood atop pyramids, a scaffolding? I sighed (Maybe there was no way back up?) and started climbing down the tall scaffolding all the way back down to the base of the mountain. Whilst I was there I went back to the fort to move the cup to either a thing that you put oil in to light it and have light or a stone birdbath more open within the fort and the next thing I knew I was atop the mountain again there was either a golden birdbath up there or maybe it was one of those oily things but it had water in it which was strange because I was atop the mountain (Like shouldn’t it have frozen?) there was a misplaced oval golden coin with hints of green (Emerald/Jade?kind of looked like this) orbiting inside the bowl thing, being the man that I was (I assumed I was myself?) or seemed to be I stilled the coin in the center of the bowl and thought nothing of it and stood on a ledge and looked down to the fort, drew my bow, nocked my arrow, drew back aimed and,I suppose since I could see slimly off the top of the mountain it was a short mountain(A few hundred metres? idk It was far away but the forte was in a zoomedish map perspective) just as I thought to release the mountain(hill thing?) shook with a might that I released the arrow and fell, again, off the ledge and landed on the same scaffolding but it seemed closer than it had been last time, even though I landed non-gracefully on my back hard, twice as hard it seemed, as I got up however I was suddenly in a black cave, it was not dark albeit dim-ish, with what looked like glowing blue quartz but it was clearer than quartz the rest and most part of the cave was a solid jet black with little white freckles here and there and the cave was very pentagonal with rigid, like a toads back or you know, just rocks, but not sharp indents about every meter. I started down the cave but I had a necklace or pendant on and it was either a piece of the glowy quartz or the oval coin that I had seen. I walked along and as I walked the ceiling gradually started becoming close to the floor of the cave, as I walked I came to a crawl in the straight and narrow space but as I crawled there were pentagonal slabs of the blue quartz that opened 2 by 2 one slab in front one in back and they slid opposite directions there were maybe 3 sets of them that opened, then, I saw someone, a girl, but I couldn’t make out her features, she sat princess style on her butt with one leg over the other both her knees faced the same direction and her hands at her side to keep her sitting upright and she had a necklace the same one that I had on I tried crawling closer but I looked down and felt my necklace got caught on one of the indents and had gotten ripped off my neck and the next thing I knew the girl faded and I was in a very brown room or chamber, choosing something(I think it had something to do with re-incarnation) there were other people in the room and I remember not seeing the girl and then activating something after I activated the something (I think it was a black pedestal?) I was in a house (I don’t know if it was modern or not, it didn’t seem as so however.) the house was under a ridge ( or in a cave whichever you prefer) my friend Rachel was there ( Completely random, at-least I’m 76% sure it was Rachel) was in the house it was winter and someone knocked one the door. We both answered the door , Rachel jumped after she noticed the little old woman in a black velvety robe/hood thing with her black eyes (Only the pupils and iris, not the white part) I however didn’t think anything of it she seemed to be blind (and I think there was a man with her?) She offered a bag of marbles me and Rachel took one marble each (I think mine was black?) we watched her walk away in the maybe 8 centimeter snow, but then in the opposite direction from which the lady was facing and walking a big/large man it seemed trotted slowly and heftily through the snow and for some reason I got his attention he turned and revealed his skin was green and tough and he was very big and muscly and his teeth protruded from his jaw with extra large canines (An Orc? For lack of better terms). It was instantly hostile and as I realized this I put my hand quickly in an on/off gesture and said “run” under my breath and motioned with my head for her to go a specific direction, she took off in said direction. I turned to see the orc had already drawn a knife from a spiked sheath throwing in my direction I moved quickly and thought of Rachel who had just started running that way and looked over but there was a pillar in my way of view(But I knew then what was on the other side but I didn’t want to believe it until I saw it, it seemed) so I turned back to face the orc he swung the knife sheathe at me but I ran past him to see on the other side of the pillar Rachel lying belly down face turned from the snow with the knife in her back and blood all over the white (Jacket/Blouss/shirt? Thing…It was white.) that she wore and one hand was a fist in the snow, I didn’t stop to look though that’s what I saw. (I guess that meant she was still alive???) while the orc was still behind me I ran over and without forethinking the consequences I grabbed the knife and swished around and caught the orcs arm in my left hand and swung the knife towards his throat with my right but lost momentum as the orc pushed, it was very strong, I managed to pierce the orcs throat but only a little, but enough for me to break and grab Rachel. I scooped her up and began to run along the long ledge of our house the direction the old lady left a bit ago, the orc close behind as I ran about 3 meters I turned my head around just in time to see the orc too close, at that moment my body outside of the dream got very hot, as I tried to hang on to the dream, I started to turn the rest of my body and Rachel around and it seemed I leaned up (maybe to go for a kick, or perhaps I fell?) But at that moment the dream ended and I was Really, Really hot and my skin felt hot but internally I was comfortable and I wasn’t sweating(Which wasn’t irregular but still I was hotter than usual) and it didn’t feel like the kind of hot that you get from being in the sun too long it felt strange and almost comforting, like the dream was supposed to be there. Until I cooled down in which case I was cold but then I proceeded to write all of this down quickly being sure to leave it as raw and vivid as I saw it.
    2. #VagueButVivid
    3. Also this dream took place 10/15-16/16 (10/16/16 i when the documents dated but idk if it was before midnight or after)

    ~List of things I’m not sure of~

    · Rachel-It could’ve been someone else but it wasn’t the girl in the cave.

    · The Necklace I wore in the cave (Glowy quartz or Coin from the oily bowl thingy birdbath)

    · Where I moved the cup.

    · If I hit the cup or not

    · Who I was in the dream/What(I Felt mid aged in universality)

    ·The reincarnation part of the dream (that part was really fuzzy)
  • Update+A little slice of life <3 Aug 14, 2016

    So last time I posted a blog about a bit of my past and more of that will come sooner or later, for right now Im more interested in posting the here and now (I don't like some memories that are back there tbh) and thats just what I'll do!(except this blog which I made but forgot to post a while-ish back) also I've been doing a lot of going places lately, not really used to that! HALP!:joy: Life's pretty satisfactory right now, so satisfy yourself and check out some cool stuff! http://johnnymalkavius.deviantart.com

    The Slice(Which was actually not to long ago)
    So this one starts sometime in the afternoon (around 6-7 ish) and lasts until half through the evening, about 10:00.
    I was going on a walk, a little earlier than usual it seemed, and around midway I stopped like i usually would at the same tree I always do along the roadside in a small clearing, so I sat down and enjoyed the bleak, dreary, solemn nature of the day and the tarmacs dampness slightly reflecting the sky I looked up to look at it but then I saw someone IN the tree, that you would've thought I'd see walking toward it in semi-daylight....I saw the fact that whoever it was , was indeed sleeping in the tree....I can't stress enough how much nostalgia that brought me just looking:thinking:, and it seemed the light rain was waking the person up and I quickly realised how creepy I was being watching people sleep :expressionless: so I just kind of sat down under the tree because it had started raining pretty good then and the only things I take with me when I walk are a ciggarette and a lighter, so I didn't want to walk in the rain:worried: I'd rather sit :unamused:. But this person flipped out of the tree sighed then noticed me and I couldn't help but think "beautiful"and not just the flip but the person herself,she was shorter than me snd had short-ish silvery hair that I really couldn't tell if it was dyed I assumed as much though,deep green eyes and literally porcelain skin(don't forget dat voice doh:yum:!). But also I felt kind of awkward having watched this person sleep not four minutes before we broke out into a really nice, very long conversation, she was very eccentric and nice, funny, very interesting and it seems I've never met anyone like her, like ever, she was just such an amazing person from my perspective(like breathtakingly awesome she had a warm air about her, and I felt a slight pull toward her:flushed:!) so by time the rain calmed down I found out that her name was Iris and she'd moved into the place not to far down the street recently, but after all was said and done it was pretty late but the rain had stopped (shoutout to that tree for keeping us dry-ish!) so I offered to walk her home (like the cheesiest but very chivalrous thing to do:smirk:) but she said "No, it's alright, not that far, besides, you'll see me tomorrow " and winked the remark left me a little dumbfounded and puzzled but she walked off in the direction of her house before I could come up with some sarcastic come back or even register the sequence of events that just happened :persevere: at any rate to sum this up, I've got a crush :relieved:...

    ...and I didn't smoke that day...two positives in one day, thats pretty good.:dark_sunglasses:
  • One of those days... Jul 30, 2016

    Well yesterday was interesting, I was followed around by some weirdo. Whilst driving I noticed after about three turns that this car was still behind me, so I took an odd turn to a roundabout to see if I vould shake hx, nope xe drove by the turn I made and waited for me to round it, I was well confused... Xe followed me until Xe realised I wasn't leading hx anywhere....locked the doors tonight! In other news I finally broke my microwave, won a 30$ bet on who could land more silently from jumping from the highest point and yeah...that happened stopped at McD's for a #6 Chicken Club meal and went to bed without even meditating or stretching/working out before hand.

    :v::point_right:Fun fact, I do light workouts and advanced stretching every morning and evening:point_left::v:

    :writing_hand:Thought I'd write this down in-case someone decides to steal any of my milk, its expensive....

  • In the Beginning. There was...cheese? Jul 17, 2016

    :thumbsup:Ok so I was reading up on a few threads the other day and this has been bothering me ever since.

    So timeline time, 10 yrs old: just after I began the practice of meditating in secret as I had seen/read about examples of others being prosecuted for other beliefs, Had strange dreams of strange things that were vivid and otherworldly, and Ever since that night had more dreams and from then on I became infatuated with the undeniable fact that I was a demon and I even mustered up the courage to tell mother about it and she'd say "well then love, don't burn the house down " and laugh luckily she had a strange sense of humour, and of course my little brother was 5 and just thought it was cool, every other night I'd wake up and go to my mothers room to sleep instead ,this happened on and off for like a week or two straight and then they just stopped.

    11 yrs old: I begin to think like an adult, and practice with magic, starting of course with the famed psi ball which was a breeze I tried and near instantly I knew I had done it right, then proceeded to try a few fire and wind "spells" which instructed me to invision me giving the fire/air energy (and for the fire pushing it )(and of course a few words were thrown in) first try on each spell, I managed to catch the top of my desk on fire and with the "give me a windy day one" the wind blew than I'd ever seen for the entirety of the time I spent that day flying kites in the neighbourhood park.I remember talking to mother about feeling out of place, like I didn't belong in this time period or maybe even this planet, of course this was right after Britain's biggest robbery ever, stealing £53m (about $92.5 million or 78€ million) from a Securitas depot in Tonbridge, Kent hit the news :japanese_ogre: And she probably thought I just lost faith in humanity...but I felt it long after that and too still do too this day

    13 yrs old: dropped the magic and psionics for about 2yrs due to cousins of mother moving in with us, figured out what kinetic energy was and chakra.

    14 yrs old: we went camping for 2 months and mother would always have me start the fires because she couldn't ever manage to even with starter and a torch, I didn't use the starter for fear of blowing up or getting some on my clothes, I would light a single dry leaf and put it under the firewood and watch it for a bit and it would always light right up after a few seconds there was one time after another strange dream dream I'd had I woke up and the fire was out(it was a bit wet) so I gather some of the dryest I could find wood put a dry leaf from inside the tent under it and SPOOF it lit up so quickly I jumped back and for the wood to have been damp it roared to life like a bloody wildfire! I wasn't confused in the slightest but exhausted.and a week later I woke up because I felt something skeletal it seemed grab my arm, I remember it being cold but not like, frozen felt at least refrigerated though, It was the scariest moment in my life because I couldn't move, not even my head to see what it was holding my arm I was panicky and anxious but not scared, I was pissed it didn't take long before I was able to force myself to yank back my hand and spring up to see nothing and my arm still felt cold after that made me too alert to fall back to sleep.:sleepy:

    15 yrs old: we move to the great sandy desert(which it seemed there was more sagebrush than sand but there wasnt), oregon, first time in the States,Still thought I was a demon,a few repeats of dreams on and off and far and few between, homeschooled, lived in three mobile homes placed semi closely together(not really) in a 30m cleared circle one mobile was a small 4m the other was a 7m and the other was a 10m ,had chickens and ducks AHH countrylife was amazing,no internet, sat outside at night alot with my dog and got tired of not being able to see or hear or smell or sense anything that he'd jump up at so I meditated focusing on the senses(started developing ESP),was into history and science and back into psionics and this time with kinetic energies, based on the previous knowledge I had one day I went outside and decided to make a "dirt-devil" and it ended up being this huge-ass mini-tornado that rocked our establishment,ripped the door off the chicken cage, flipped it over, and proceeded going until it hit our closest neighbours shed,barn thing,(about 5x11x9 WxLxH (metres)made of wood covered with metal sheets) about a half-km away made this awful noise against the side of it and it dissipated very soon after, our neighbour came down for a visit to make sure we were okay, the week after that I decided to make another one and I did but not as big as the last it was still a good size ,about 9 or 10m tall but alot thinner(about an arms spread width) I made it stay perfectly still in one spot while it spun it was most amazing thing I'd ever done my little brother ran through it a few times and then went inside and got my mother whilst I walked toward it to stand in the centre it was blindingly breathtaking My mother witnessed this and she just smiled. it seemed it lasted for hours but after it was gone not 5 minutes had passed. However after each occurrence I felt completely drained and exhausted

    16 yrs old: no longer in the states back to England mother convinces me to drop my spirituality and convinces me that its not possible for me to be a demon and I give up practicing the psionics for the next 5 years.but still did research on and off of course and still meditated every other day anytime when it was possible.

    17yrs old: small occurrences my secondary school teach tells me I have an old soul(I was surprised she would say that but not surprised by what she said), I meet a girl who knows I was into psionics (who taught me the word psionics) and magic who becomes my girlfriend for a week and then seemingly disappears from existence(she left the school on the last day early, when I got home tried to call her but she never answered and for a month straight I tried her cell 3 times a night and eventually I stopped trying then one day I get a message on a different phone with a different number and an unrecognised number texted me "It's me "alias" I'm safe" which is all I needed to know but it was strange back to topic), I become into parkour and I was good at it naturally, taught a kid a few tips and lived like a normalish person for a while Lol!

    18yrs: invested my grandfathers trust fund for 2yrs, The Umbra incident, one night the moon was out and it wasn't particularly bright but it was enough to light up the room and that day I was very depressed so I went into my room closed the door , And there was something so comforting and serene about the dark something warm motherly so I wanted it to be darker of course, and so I didn't have a curtain on my window it was a blind instead but it was broken so I couldn't blocking all of the light so I started meditating in the dark I just wanted it to be completely block and then it just happened the room was so black, but couldn't even see my own hand in front of my face my brother tried to come into the room and said it was like something like a black wall had been put up I felt affinity and warmth, nostalgic feelings and I was lost in it it definitely cheered me up after about 10 minutes of that it ended and I didn't feel as exhausted as I did the past times something just happened like that, I felt rejuvenated, I thought about this incident for a long while after so, and concluded that The dark comforts me. :spy:

    20yrs: moved to the states to be touristy, took my mother and brother along got a job, bought a house with my grandfathers trust fund cheque and back into psionics I went my free time consist of anytime I'm not working or out with friends or into a tv show and are dedicated to psionics, however now its been so long I've nearly forgotten everything so I started back from the beginning and looking back on how I thought I was a demon seems like It was in my head.:head_bandage:

    Now age 21: Found psion nation, did some reading up on otherkin, remembered my past experiences...wondered...wrote this blog. And now that I realise "hey derplet maybe it wasn't in your head, And I will simply await feedback. :curious: :thumbsup:

    I wanted to make this mini-journal blog about my beginning as a psion and a little life story thrown in any way and I figured now would be a good time...haha get it cause its 6am right?:zzz:

    Johnathan likes this.