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  • My mood swing May 9, 2016

    There are probably some grammar error and spelling error in this entry, also some sentence may sound gibberish. The reason why I write this entry is to record the change that happend to me since I like to forget the past, also to rant about something that happend to me. However I didn't do anything about it and I just let it be.

    So when I was younger I like a good kid, I always hope for the other to be happy, hope for them that they don't fall when they play and etc. However I am naive and fear of everything. I fear that something bad would happen when I do something, like fall down form the stairs if I run. At that time when my friends did something bad to me, I wouldd felt worse. Then after that I will bee like its okay maybe they didn't meant to did it.(age around: kindergarden-grade 1 or 3 I can't remember)
    forom grade 4 onward my mood was pretty normal don't have any noticeable change yet.

    However the next me, its feel so different. I sometime sudddenly pissed off at my friends for the tiniest reason. This is actual stituation, my friend was playing my eraser in a class, when I saw I become extermly piss off to the point that why I become a friend with her.(Its happend last year) Then I will suddenly think back about her actions toward me and its make me really hate her. When this isn't the first time I am angry but it just too much. Its like I see someone I feel the sudden urge to harm that person.

    Luckly, the current me seem to be more stable now. I can control sssome of my emotion and know how to deal with it now. So when I think about something then feel depresssed about the topic, then I would feel that I need to change or rage about humanity or the world. For example, I do I have to born a human, why can't I destroy humanity or why I have to born inthis world. Then I will feel I need to protect everything, especially human. Its like I don't want to see them suffer, I just want them to be happy.
    Which its make my emotion return to normal and I think it also make me know my feeling about something that I probarly ignore.

    After writing this I feel like I should meditate and probaly write something to improve my grammar and spelling. ~(•∆•)~<<< a stupid dance