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So I had my first OBE last night, It was amazing, it was kinda sort of a waste though, all I did was float up to my ceiling before I snapped back. I still loved it. Finally after months of trying I finally achieved my goal, and now I must set my goal ever higher. Today was one of the best days I have ever had, I cant remember the last time I have had so much energy. I went for a run and it was beautiful out, a thin layer of snow everywhere and my prints were the ones in them, It was the best 4 miles of my life.
There are some things in life that no matter how hard you try you'll never fully be able to grasp the concept of, for example, infinite. Yes you may be able to use it in a sentence, describe it in your own words, or read a definition. None of that means you truly and honestly understand what it is, infinity is something the human mind can not comprehend and so we are left with a little part of it and we slap a name on it and call it life.
One of the first things that will ever happen to a person that they are most likely always going to remember is when they get a true taste of a raw emotion, such as happiness, anger, or sadness. I cant really remember a time where I was completely happy. Nothing has ever been able to do that for me, and so I don't understand as to why I was so surprised when I was diagnosed with sever depression. I guess that failed suicide attempt was the leading factor in that, but my original statement still stands, I have never been truly happy..I have always wondered what it feels like.. to not think for a single second that your not disappointing someone, or hurting someone else. When I think about it now, all I can really do is just chuckle, saddened by the fact that I will most likely never know what true happiness feels like..